1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tellsher that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLO SED.
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SADAfter Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :1. Tele-Phone2. Tele-Vision3. Tell to WomanNeed still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving throu gh a forest.They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE himbecause he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing inyour life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.
12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for"- Albert Einstein