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ENJOY THE PURE WAY..........................

1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLO SED.


2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption : Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY




3. Three FASTEST means of Communication : 1. Tele-Phone 2. Tele-Vision 3. Tell to Woman Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.



4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.




5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman. Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him. Moral : BE SPECIFIC



6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ? It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.



7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving throu gh a forest. They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him. Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.



8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.



9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE. Answer : On their MARRIAGE.



10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.


11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.



12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" - Albert Einstein

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Here are Santa and Bunta..to entertain you.. !!Enjoy..!

Jasmeet : " What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Santa : " Golfing with friends, my dear."
Jasmeet : " What ? At 2 am ? "
Santa : " Yes, We used night clubs."

At bedtime, Santa prepared two aspirins and a glass of water for his wife.
Jasmeet : "What is this for?"
Santa : "For you headache, dear."
Jasmeet : "But I don't have a headache." Santa : "Good to know beforehand..."


Santa brought his circle of friends to show off his new apartment.
After the grand tour, the visitors were rather perplexed by the large
gong taking pride of place in the lounge.
What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.
Why, that's my Speaking Clock"Santa replied.
"How does it work?"
"I'll show you", Santa said,
giving the gong an ear-shattering blow with an unpadded hammer.
Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall screamed,
"For God's sake, you *****, it's twenty to two in the morning!!"


Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady: Excuse me, Aap Achha Nahi Kar Rahe Hain Singhji !
Santa: Itni Bheed Mein Is Se Achha Nahi Ho Sakta.


Santa Apni Biwi Ka Antim Sanskar Karke Ghar Ja Raha Tha Ki Achanak Bijli Chamki,
Badal Garje, Jor Se Baarish Shuru Hui..
Dukhi Santa Bola Utha..Lagta Hai Pahunch Gai..Ab Who Roo Raha Hai.!!

Santa enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.
Jasmeet observes the whole episode.
Again he comes and does the same stuff.
Jasmeet askes, " Why are you doing this?
Santa replies, " Doctor told to check sugar level regularly ".


SANTA : Oye Mein Is Duniya Ko Mita Dunga - Mita Dunga- Mita Dunga...!
Bunta standing besides said, "Mein Tujhe Rubber (Eraser) Nahi Dunga."


Santa on cycle hit lady accidently.lady says, " Break Nahi Mar Sakta Tha kya?
Santa replies " Break Ka Kya Hai, Poori Cycle To Mar Di....."



Santa : Doctor help me, Mein Jab Baat Karta Huun To Muje Sirf Awaaz Sunai Deti Hai,
Aadmi Nahi Dikhta.
Doctor: Aaisa Kab Hota Hai?
Santa : Phone Karte Waqt.


Santa Jhad Pe Bethkar Gaana Gaa Rahe Tha,
Achanak Banta Jhad Se Ulta Latak Ke Gaane Laga,
Santa Ne Pucha Ki Ulta Kyon Latka Hai??????????
Banta Bola : Oye, Side B Gaa Raha Hun.


Santa called his neighbor Bunta to help him move a couch that had
become stuck in the doorway.
They pushed and pulled until they were exhausted,
but the couch wouldn't budge.
"Forget it," Santa finally gasped. "We'll never get this in."
Bunta looked at him angrily and shouted, "In?!"

Santa was leaving the Gurdwara one day.
The Giani was standing at the door to greet the members.
He grasped Santa by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Giani said to him, 'You need to join the Army of the our Guru..!'
Santa replied, 'I'm already in the Army...!'
The Giani questioned, 'How come I don't see you except on Vaisaki?'
Santa whispered back,.. 'Shhhhhhhhh. I'm in the secret service.'